Back to the basics

Lately I've been really in think mode, wondering about life and how I live it and why others make theirs so much more complex than it needs to be. We as a people tend to amplify the things life throws at us with simple misunderstandings and impulsiveness. I beleive that there is a level of haste that we let ourselves fall in and we forget to live, there is always time to take a breath and enjoy life.

Today everybody seems to be worried about what they don't have or how many people hatin on em. Whatever happened to appreciating the things that you have and working to better not only yourself but the friends and family beside you? Our men fear themselves and the potential they posses, they underacheive and have a lack of heart. Our women fear our men and fear being alone, they distrust each other and don't know what a healthy relationship looks like anymore. Neither men or women have a definition of love synonymous with each other and everybody is blaming someone else for why things aren't working out for them.

I beleive that we should live life a little slower with more patience, open our eyes and actually see what we are doing. It doesn't make sense to rush through life when everyone knows what's at the end of the road... Death! Let's take it back to the basics and live each day with a goal to enjoy it and not allow ourselves to be knocked out of balance. 

Take the next step

The generation that we live in has been starved of the necessary tools to develop into productive men and women. We grow older but fail to mature with the years that pass. We gain the age in number but when do we gain the knowledge to handle the responsibities that comes with it? 

The decisions we make in the circumstances we are put in directly define Us. When we elevate ourselves past ourselves we escalate others around us by setting an example. We know where we physically transition from youth to adulthood but there is no place to pin point where that transition occurs mentally. Which begs the question, what are the mental characteristics of a boy:girl & man:woman?

I beleive that boys:girls Unconciously operate to satisfy themselves seeking to avoid pain or unpleasure, while at the same time reaping any and every pleasurable benifit. This I beleive is the dominant mental framework of a boy:girl, this type of person will manipulate almost every situation to benift themselves and if they can't they resist with anger, envy, passiveness, extreme irrational acts and foolish criticism. A lot of times they will act as a victim or create an excuse to free them of responsibility of their actions. These individuals are reluctant to change and feel that others should change for them, for change to occur in them it must be forced.

My beleif in men:women is that they they operate from a consciousness that allows them to think with a certain degree of foresight. They are able to operate with realistic views of the world and people around them, their actions are more thought out and they factor in all the variables and outcomes before making decisions. Although mistakes will occur a man:woman will be accountable for any part he/she played in the outcome. A man:woman rarely ever takes advantage of a situation to benifit themselves with out regard for another unless the situation warrants for them to do so. They are always looking for ways to better themselves as well as others they are in contact with; change is and always will be an essential part of a mans:womans mental framework.        

only men and women have the capacity to adequately be mothers and fathers. This has and always will be the case simply because boys and girls can't raise boys and girls to be something they are not. It is never too late to mature, it is just will and desire to be a man or a woman that makes them such.

Being a man or a woman comes with the responsibility to set standards for the ones who lack guidance and understanding of what it really means to be defined as men and women. It takes an insurmountable amount of love for oneself and one another to take the next step... 

Until next time, please take in what applies and continue to grow..

The awful truth

 

In love relationships We as human beings have a compelling need for what we feel as control. Being placed in vulnerable positions or feeling vulnerable leaves us uncomfortable, so we do whatever it takes to have as much control over our circumstances as possible, especially when it comes to love relationships.

Once we do allow our control to be compromised for the sake of creating chances to grow with another person, we hold on to those attachments and gain a certain familiarity and most of the time we call this love.

If or when these "loves" fail one of two things occur; our pride frees us of all fault and we blame the other person for the failure of the relationship and we move on to another person (different person same characteristics w/ minor differences). The other is we suffer from post traumatic love disorder (PTLD) which causes us to use the "never again" method where trusting another is nearly impossible, the chances of allowing one to get you to that place of vulnerability is virtually non existent, all of this to protect ourselves from a hurt we wish to never experience again.

In men, I believe these kinds of experiences are not typical due to the way we are socialized to behave in relationships. We are too Often raised to believe that manhood is established through sexual conquest, the more women you have sex with the more manly you are perceived to be. Not typically taught how to initiate a relationship and actively perform the roles of a man in a relationship. If a relationship does fail for a man, the "bitches ain't shit" rule probably goes into affect as a method of control and protection. The next relationship a man goes into will probably be out of comfort and opportunity. 

In women experiences like these are more common as a result of mans socialization. Women are often socialized to be ready for a mans absence and to be prepared for a mans inadequacy to perform the necessary roles of a man. 
If a relationship goes south for a female she will most move on but have underlying symptoms of ptld that she won't even be conscious of. This will in turn cause her to inadvertently project her past hurts onto her next mate who will share the same characteristics as her past mate (different person same characteristics w/minor differences), which in turn could result in interpersonal insanity (repetitively pursuing the same type of mate, searching for new results).

I believe that relationships fail because we initiate them with only assumptions of what the rules of engagement will be and we lack expectations. We love for recompense and we bail at the first sign of stormy weather. Both males and females definitions of love & relationships should be synonymous before taking any steps toward either of the two. 

Please feel free to give feedback, let me know if you agree or disagree. Thanks for reading.     

Growth

Growing internally is by far the loneliest journey taken. Nobody is aware of your inner thoughts, emotions, or structure of thinking. The things that make you different from anyone else, the very make up of who you are is embedded in the things you value and beleive. The things that you value are what controls you, drives you, or what can even crush you. Those things that u believe in gives you the faith of things not yet manifested physically, they give you the hope that those bad times will fade and joy will fill your heart and life will be much brighter. This whole journey has to be walked alone, the making of internal you can only be harvested by you for you. The inner strength of you, the very fuel of your passions and dreams, the ability to get up after defeat, the will to give it another chance over and over again. Growing internally allows you to be a vibrant light exterally, making you a beacon of prosperous infinity unshakeable, an unstoppable force of certainty, a walking definition of individuality, a generous giver of charity, an inseperable bond of family, a simple beginning of change for a community. It makes u a whole being instead of just simply being.

For Love

For love I am willing to give the gift of sacrifice
To defeat the giant that is my pride, crumble it and sweep it to the side
For love I am willing to silence my mind and let my heart speak what only love could understand
To melt away my fears and doubts, let them evaporate and rain down again as compassion and certainty
For love I am courageous enough to take a path unknown
To search endlessly for a love to call my own, for a priceless goddess to place upon a throne
For love I do not require reciprocation, a gift of my charity to another heart
A divinity made eternal, a power made infinite from god to me to you
For love there will be no substitute, a heart is not made for solitude
To share the gift of love means to have purpose in another
For love there is my promise of loyalty and truth
To be a bandage when there are wounds, to be a confidant when there is worry
For love ill be and live all these things
Sure enough I am a man and I will be a well of life to her when she is thirsty
A shield when her guard is down and I will be the one who carries her when the burden of life weighs her down
Only for love

My Perfect Woman

My perfect woman isn't perfect at all. Shes perfection in an imperfect soul, a diamond; although flawed in a way, she's still always beautiful.She's a woman of substance, not just a mere shell of one, someone who has the ability to light the fire of my entirety not just spark an ember of passion that is sure to die out.Someone who however damaged their heart has been can still grow to trust & not judge the sum of the male population.Someone who's pains & disappointments are the cause of their endless pursuit for peace & understanding not the reason why the door to their heart is preceeded by a labrynth with nearly impenetrable walls of insecurities, doubts, & fears.You see my perfect woman isn't perfect at all, its just that her desire for love outweighs her beckoning need for protection from hurt. Love isn't some fairytale in some far away land of melodious fate, love is a choice, however, most of us choose to stay in our faux reality & protect ourselves from hurt, missing out on the very thing our hearts desire most..

The woman i want for me

A beauty that walked hand in hand with eternity
My desire personified in front of me
A dancing song in my reality
The archetype of inner melody
A sweet savory fragrance of my favorite fantasy
An extraordinarily unordinary personality
A piece of heavens light… shes more than satisfactory
The sun applauds her beauty with sun kissed skin
The moon gives her an encore and caresses her smile so romantically
She treads a line of light
A beacon of inner sanctity
A glow that melts the ice in me
Shes a flower in the wind that sways so elegantly
She is the harmony in song
The cage that trapped my thoughts
She is the woman I want for me.

Like the rain

If I was anything like the rain, I would be able to connect my heart to another
just like the rain connects the sky to the earth
If I was like the rain I could cool your burning heart and douse those lonely flames
I would be able to fill the cracks of your broken heart and fill the rivers of your love flow
If I was like the rain I would hydrate your body and leave it refreshed
Unlike the sun and the moon who are only there temporarily
I would fall down upon you whenever you needed me
My kiss would give you chills, my touch would soak your spirit
I would be your loves life source in abundance
My storm clouds would be your reassurance
My love.… if I was anything like the rain I would be the foundation of love itself
The thing that flows through you and feeds your every need
The source that cleanses you and rinses you spotless
If I was anything like the rain I would fulfill all your desire
If only I was like the rain I could be with you forever.

The night the star romanced the sky

The night the star romanced the sky, i caressed your smooth skin and gazed at the moonlight in your eyes. The night no rain fell and the wind carried a song, i kissed your lips and my arms carried u home. The night the lights danced on the sea, you ran your hands across my face, your subtle touch comforted me. The night the leaves began to fall from the trees, you and i removed our cares and our arms from our sleeves. The night the tides climbed and made the sand its bed, i kissed you from the soles of your feet to the peak of your head. The night time dissapeared and there was no space below or above was the same night i was yours, you were mine and we made love.

Scars of a broken heart

The ache of heartbreak left behind
The vision of your face seared into my mind
The echoes of your laugh bellowing through the chambers in my heart
I swore it would last, I was wrong so now where do I start
My perception of love now jaded
The remnants of the scent of you now faded
I still wonder where we went wrong
Could it be that it was never right all along
I thought I gave you all of me
Maybe I wasn’t enough
I guess it is true that the truth sets you free
I wasn’t well until I confessed to myself
That love wasn’t right in me
It wasn’t an easy thing to digest
The pain of loss lingered in my chest
I felt the cold blow through my emptiness
A feeling that felt so timeless
Left with no pain killers
No sleeping pills
A feeling I was forced to endure
When love makes you sick where is the cure
You fill that void in your heart with the lesson learned
Leave behind the past, walk away, let it burn
Hope for the best in the next
It wont be the same so ready yourself for a new start
Let new love heal the scars of your broken heart.

ladies: what is a real man to you?

So I have a question for my ladies out there, I hear you guys talk about how you guys want “real men” but yet you guys always seem to be heartbroken over a nigga so I’m just wondering what exactly do you guys consider a “real man”?

I was raised to be what I consider a man, a man puts himself third in rotation first is god, second is his family or his wife (if they don’t have a family), and then himself. I’m going to go straight into number two.. my woman. As a man I should sacrifice my wants to satisfy the needs of my woman, she gets the first and the last of whatever I have and when I get home from work I make sure there isn’t anything she needs before I sit down to relax.

I want to also address something I hear coming out of dudes mouth the old school “I want my lady to have my dinner on the table when I get home”. that’s hella out dated cause it’s 2009 and if you not ballin to where yo lady can sit at home all day then more than likely she is working just like you and is probably just as tired if not more than you when she gets home, so if you get home first how about making your lady some dinner and running her a bath (all hot water) so when she gets home she can have a nice dinner and then wind down in the tub?? I bet you she will gather up enough energy to put that thang on you when bed time comes up.

Ladies stop accepting bullshit and don’t give out none either, a real man can accept the truth and rejection is the least of his worries cause trust me, there is some female willing to do what you think he wants you to do but he aint after you for that and he don’t want her cause that’s all she got. Sometimes yall stick yall noses up at the right dude and be all on these watery ass niggas who aint about nothing.
So ladies, why don’t you answer this question…. What is a real man to you?

WTF?

I thought the female species was on that independent I don’t need a nigga for shit type deal and why do females ask for advice but right after you give it they go do what the fuck they were doing before?
Enough is enough, if you are a female and you out slangin the “ im independent, I don’t need a nigga” then be that woman, don’t turn your ass around when you in a bind and come to a nigga like “can I borrow this to do this, or can you give me a ride to look for jobs” WHAT THE FUCK?? wasn’t you just talking all that independent shit? Right, so take your ass and get on the bus, do what you got to do independently. don’t be independent when you doing good and then turn around and be the humble I need your help person when its bad… THEN get mad when a nigga tell you no… get the fuck outta here!!
As for you ladies who come to ya boy “needing” advice, use it, don’t waste a nigga time having him give you his wisdom and then toss it out like trash. For real, if you were going to do what you was bout to do anyway, fuck the advice, just do the shit that way nobody has any I told you so’s and you can save yourself the embarrassment.

Patience: a virtue and ability

A man on the radio this morning said “ be patient with others but more importantly be patient with yourself”. I thought about it and I agree that being patient with yourself takes precedence over being patient with those who surround you. Too many times I find that me and other people who are around me are too hard on ourselves or we are easily discouraged when things seem to be going south for us, we never give ourselves a chance to develop from things. How can we learn to be patient with anyone else if we don’t know how to give ourselves room to grow? Patience is a virtue and an ability we all must work at diligently, I believe that patience breeds forgiveness and we all know how much we need forgiveness. So with all that said, take the time and let yourself breath and don’t beat yourself up when times are rough, be patient and give yourself a chance.

Stop the clock

Tonight is the time to fuse our minds to stop time
Collide our hearts into the divine
I want to feel your sexy skin against mine
I see it in your eyes you know this is fine
I’m at your door you hear the knock
Open up girl lets stop the clock
Speak to me with your touch
Whisper your desires to my heart
Take your time my lips are where you start
Its getting late we’re coming to that part
I’m still at your door you hear my knock
Open up girl lets stop the clock
Its time we take it to another level
Your be my oasis of tonight
Ill be your paradise of tomorrow
Let my love erase your sorrow
Unlock your door you hear my knock
don’t be afraid to stop the clock
Let me shower you with kisses
Love, life, happiness be my misses
Gentle heart, tender spirit
This is love calling can you hear it knock
Answer the call lets stop the clock

play your position

Ok so this is probably going to hurt some feelings but whatever some shit needs to be said.
There are females out there who put themselves in certain positions they really don’t want to be in but they tolerate it for the sake of hope. When you ladies start talking to a dude knowing he probably wont take that step to make you his “girl” don’t get mad if after a month or two you still sitting on the bench, play the position you signed up for or cut… plain and simple. It seems as if a lot of you ladies are settling for less when you actually want more, doesn’t make sense to me but hey its not my life. If you want a dude to make you wifey you need to put yo bid in for that and not get the “ I got a lot of stuff going on right now, so I cant have a girl“… BUT do all the shit people in relationships do. If this is you, you can either wait to get called in off the bench if someone gets tired or injured or you can get traded to another team where you might be a starter.

excuses: everybody wants to play the "victim"

Today my boy said something that kinda stuck wit me for some reason, he said “ everybody need to stop blaming everybody else for their fuck-ups and take responsibility for they shit”. it seems as if today people have an excuse for just about everything that they do wrong or it is never their fault when things go bad. Its like our generation grows physically but is stunted in character and lack what it takes to actually be called a man or a woman, this generation is playing the victim all the time and no one is taking accountability for any of the shit that they do.
How many of you have said “ well if such and such woulda did this“, or “If he/she wouldn’t be” etc. you never hear anyone putting themselves into the equation when shit goes wrong, its never their fault. Its really time for us all to step in to our roles as men and women and own our shit whether its good or bad, be responsible and make good decisions, think shit through before acting and when shit doesn’t go the way you planned don’t play the victim unless you really are in fact a “victim”.

faith, love, and change- the problematics

When the light goes out in your world let the light in your heart guide you when there is confusion in your head and all that is good seems to be dead walk and have faith that the good will be resurrected. Take great strides in love; it is patient, forgiving, enduring, it is not jealous, and it gives all with only the hope that all will be returned. It takes a lot to love, it takes a lot to know things will be ok when they look as if there is no way. If you seek the good, seek the love, then its only a matter of time before it would be obtained.
For those who have issues with other people in the regard that you wish “they” would change… stop trying to change them, be the change you want to see in others, show them by your example that even though their unfavorable actions bother you, you accept them and you will be a true friend and stand by them. Not saying that you sit by and let them continue doing it you always have to let them know its not ok, just don’t try and force the change.

loss of light

loss of light
I heard the sun set inviting darkness to take its place the lonely melody of silence was played by the moon. i never noticed how beautiful the light made you until it was gone. i spent too much time trying to keep up with the turn or your earth i never knew that if i just looked at your sky the world would stop for me. now my lonely soul suffers in the twenty third hour of night. my eyes on the stars filled with all the memories of the light once showered upon me. nothing in my view is beautiful in this dark the world is quiet the winds are cold and i cant see far enough in front of me to know where to go. i tried to walk and find shelter but all i did was trip fall and stumble. i now stand in the open my pride shattered and my heart humbled will you forgive me?