Saturday, December 26, 2009

Back to the basics

Lately I've been really in think mode, wondering about life and how I live it and why others make theirs so much more complex than it needs to be. We as a people tend to amplify the things life throws at us with simple misunderstandings and impulsiveness. I beleive that there is a level of haste that we let ourselves fall in and we forget to live, there is always time to take a breath and enjoy life.

Today everybody seems to be worried about what they don't have or how many people hatin on em. Whatever happened to appreciating the things that you have and working to better not only yourself but the friends and family beside you? Our men fear themselves and the potential they posses, they underacheive and have a lack of heart. Our women fear our men and fear being alone, they distrust each other and don't know what a healthy relationship looks like anymore. Neither men or women have a definition of love synonymous with each other and everybody is blaming someone else for why things aren't working out for them.

I beleive that we should live life a little slower with more patience, open our eyes and actually see what we are doing. It doesn't make sense to rush through life when everyone knows what's at the end of the road... Death! Let's take it back to the basics and live each day with a goal to enjoy it and not allow ourselves to be knocked out of balance. 

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Take the next step

The generation that we live in has been starved of the necessary tools to develop into productive men and women. We grow older but fail to mature with the years that pass. We gain the age in number but when do we gain the knowledge to handle the responsibities that comes with it? 

The decisions we make in the circumstances we are put in directly define Us. When we elevate ourselves past ourselves we escalate others around us by setting an example. We know where we physically transition from youth to adulthood but there is no place to pin point where that transition occurs mentally. Which begs the question, what are the mental characteristics of a boy:girl & man:woman?

I beleive that boys:girls Unconciously operate to satisfy themselves seeking to avoid pain or unpleasure, while at the same time reaping any and every pleasurable benifit. This I beleive is the dominant mental framework of a boy:girl, this type of person will manipulate almost every situation to benift themselves and if they can't they resist with anger, envy, passiveness, extreme irrational acts and foolish criticism. A lot of times they will act as a victim or create an excuse to free them of responsibility of their actions. These individuals are reluctant to change and feel that others should change for them, for change to occur in them it must be forced.

My beleif in men:women is that they they operate from a consciousness that allows them to think with a certain degree of foresight. They are able to operate with realistic views of the world and people around them, their actions are more thought out and they factor in all the variables and outcomes before making decisions. Although mistakes will occur a man:woman will be accountable for any part he/she played in the outcome. A man:woman rarely ever takes advantage of a situation to benifit themselves with out regard for another unless the situation warrants for them to do so. They are always looking for ways to better themselves as well as others they are in contact with; change is and always will be an essential part of a mans:womans mental framework.        

only men and women have the capacity to adequately be mothers and fathers. This has and always will be the case simply because boys and girls can't raise boys and girls to be something they are not. It is never too late to mature, it is just will and desire to be a man or a woman that makes them such.

Being a man or a woman comes with the responsibility to set standards for the ones who lack guidance and understanding of what it really means to be defined as men and women. It takes an insurmountable amount of love for oneself and one another to take the next step... 

Until next time, please take in what applies and continue to grow..

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The awful truth


In love relationships We as human beings have a compelling need for what we feel as control. Being placed in vulnerable positions or feeling vulnerable leaves us uncomfortable, so we do whatever it takes to have as much control over our circumstances as possible, especially when it comes to love relationships.

Once we do allow our control to be compromised for the sake of creating chances to grow with another person, we hold on to those attachments and gain a certain familiarity and most of the time we call this love.

If or when these "loves" fail one of two things occur; our pride frees us of all fault and we blame the other person for the failure of the relationship and we move on to another person (different person same characteristics w/ minor differences). The other is we suffer from post traumatic love disorder (PTLD) which causes us to use the "never again" method where trusting another is nearly impossible, the chances of allowing one to get you to that place of vulnerability is virtually non existent, all of this to protect ourselves from a hurt we wish to never experience again.

In men, I believe these kinds of experiences are not typical due to the way we are socialized to behave in relationships. We are too Often raised to believe that manhood is established through sexual conquest, the more women you have sex with the more manly you are perceived to be. Not typically taught how to initiate a relationship and actively perform the roles of a man in a relationship. If a relationship does fail for a man, the "bitches ain't shit" rule probably goes into affect as a method of control and protection. The next relationship a man goes into will probably be out of comfort and opportunity. 

In women experiences like these are more common as a result of mans socialization. Women are often socialized to be ready for a mans absence and to be prepared for a mans inadequacy to perform the necessary roles of a man. 
If a relationship goes south for a female she will most move on but have underlying symptoms of ptld that she won't even be conscious of. This will in turn cause her to inadvertently project her past hurts onto her next mate who will share the same characteristics as her past mate (different person same characteristics w/minor differences), which in turn could result in interpersonal insanity (repetitively pursuing the same type of mate, searching for new results).

I believe that relationships fail because we initiate them with only assumptions of what the rules of engagement will be and we lack expectations. We love for recompense and we bail at the first sign of stormy weather. Both males and females definitions of love & relationships should be synonymous before taking any steps toward either of the two. 

Please feel free to give feedback, let me know if you agree or disagree. Thanks for reading.