Love Therapy: Maintaining Consistency

Consistency, one of the top reasons why relationships fail. The reason why our women say "he doesn't do the things he used to" and the reason why our men say "she's not the same person I remember". Consistency is vital in our relationships and will make or break them. Consistency by definition means "an agreement or harmony of parts or features to one another or a whole", that being said, what are we agreeing on and where is our harmony that is necessary? 

We as human beings are instinctively seeking the most comfortable and pleasurable circumstances, this is the only thing that is naturally consistent within our personalities. With a combination of life experience and external influence we develop an internal persona which influences our perspectives, decisions, and attractions. We let this persona develop what our idea of love is and that becomes an item of our basic instinct; to be comfortable and pleased, we have to fight our instinct. 

People are continuously changing within relationships, however, love does not change. In order to have a sense of consistency we must embody a synonymous definition of love (ex. 1 Corinthians 13). As we hold on to our definition our personalities, as they mature and change, will never not seem consistent. The things we did at the beginning of our relationship will never go away, they will never seem old, and anything more will be residual.

Two persons agreement to love produces a harmony between 
The two hearts, it allows them two apply every variable of their love to each other consistently. This doesn't mean that there won't be issues within the relationship but it does mean that issues will be solved with love and resentment should not exist. Maintain your consistency by upholding your agreement to love and fight against your instinct when your instinct becomes selfish.

Love therapy: Destroy & Rebuild Foundations

In relationships we all must be aware that not everything old is compatible with the new. There are things that worked for us in our past relationships that may not work for us in our future ones. A relationship is much like a house that gets built from the ground up. If u want that house to last it must have a strong foundation. Lots of people build their homes using the blueprints of other peoples foundations, move in and everything slowly falls apart. The house is eventually destroyed and that foundation you laid remains until you decide to build a new one. 

The entire process of destroying and rebuilding foundations starts with constructing your personal foundation. Prepare yourself with patience and understanding, identify what it is that you are searching for and be able to articulate it to whomever it is you decide to be involved with. You must also have the ability to recognize when a person isn't on the same page as you and make the proper adjustments as necessary i.e limiting interaction, calls, and be able to convey why you made your adjustment. After making any form of an adjustment you must remain firm in your decision (much like a foundation). 

Make sure you build your foundation with constructive qualities and beliefs. A constructive foundation allows you to embody what what you need and after, you'll be able to impose your needs onto potential partners without forcing them to compromise their own values allowing them to keep their sense of self. This also allows them to give to you confidently and comfortably of themselves, nobody enjoys feeling like they are being taken from so be sure to make it easy for people to want to give to you. 

It isn't difficult for a person to recognize another person who has a well constructed foundation. You have an outward expression of an embodied stronghold. Your confidence, mannerisms, and ability to communicate will manifest themselves more proficiently because of your strengthened foundation. Only those who have built strong foundations have the ability to withstand the weathering of a real relationship so, build on you before attempting to build with somebody. 

Again

You the love of my life
If you ever lost your memories of me and I had to earn your love all over again I would
I'd take the risk to lose you just to get those priceless moment back again I would
I'd go thru the awkward moment of meeting you, the one of kissing you and goin thru the extra mile just to get next to you
If I had to do it I'd run to the moment of the first time I'd seen your gorgeous smile
I'm thinking that if I knew then what I now we could've been here right now a whole lot sooner
Or how I could go back to when you used to think I had stop caring only for me to have found a new way to draw nearer to you 
Yea I'd probably do it again above all because I'd get to revisit that moment when love really set in and I realized I never stopped having those moments because they are still happening. 
So happily I'd love you all over again
I'd touch you right there again
Kiss you just like that again just to make you say I love you like you did the first time again.
Baby it doesn't even matter what state of mind you were in because once we were in love I'd gladly make you fall again.

My love

For it is thou you never knew me
Like a child and their toy 
You've seem to have outgrew me
But I
The one who remembers how you felt
Cannot forget how you felt or outgrow you
Love remember I still know you
I tried so hard to show you
The love in me won't outgrow you
It's needs to know you
Intimacy throughout you
A need to give you real love
To desire to ascend love
Renew love 
A new love 
The right love
The I won't quit at night love 
The day love 
The surprising spurts of may love 
The never ending hey love
What can I do to make love 
To a love that doesn't sway love 
That I refuse to hate love
There has to be a way love 
I can get inside love 
Your mind love 
I want to defeat time love
This is fire love
That shoots you up much higher love
A mighty love 
That I just can't fight it love
I might just love 
The fact that you chose me love 
I just can't lose my love
You expand my love
I hold you with both hands my love
Kiss you end to end my love 
Just where do I begin my love
This should never end my love 
Let's love this to the end my love 
I'll only fight my love 
To keep this love in flight my love
At night love
I'll send you to the sky my love
 if you want the stars my love 
I'll make a way to give you light my love
You're right my love 
You're my right hand love
My bestfriend love 
A beginning over and over my love 
Tonight my love is where I just might my love 
Take my love and place my love
In your heart my love 
Let you take my love 
As it makes You smile my love 
I'll weep my love 
Out these eyes that needs your love
To survive the miles of life my love
Will you be my wife my love
As eve was to Adam my love 
We will be the first my love 
To love above the rest my love 
So say my love 
Why did we ever part with love? 

Women are like wine

Fine and better with time 
Women are just like wine
Born of the earth bold and beautiful 
Complex entanglement much like the vine
Smooth intoxicating grip on the mind
Women are just like wine
Appropriate for the fine engagements 
Fit for the most intimate arrangements
A perfect high when consumed in moderation
A despicable low when abused for gratification 
Women are just like wine 
Your cool mood becomes more serene
Your passion filled moments be a dream
Get close enough to smell her
Tilt her to your lips so you can taste her
Never pour more than you can handle
Be careful not to waste her
A gift to man from god
To elevate your body and mind
Yes women are just like wine 

Love Therapy: Diminishing Misconceptions

Many of us enter into our relationships believing in certain concepts of love that could potentially damage the welfare of our relationships. These misconceptions place expectations on our partners that they may or may not have the capacity for and when they fail to meet those expectations we resent our partners and blame love. As we grow in our relationships misconceptions such as "love is a two-way street" or "love doesn't hurt" should be ruled null and void because they don't apply in a real relationship. 

Love in it's most simplistic definition is "charity". Charity is a gift from one party to another without any payment or gift in return. With love being "charity" love is never always a two-way street, it's often a one way street with a stop light.  I say a stop light because it's necessary to regulate just how much love you are giving out, giving too much of yourself can cause you to either forget about your own needs or be taken advantage of. When love is working the way it was planned to work then that's where the two way street is created, two people giving freely of themselves manifests the two way idea. It is not you give me some then I'll give some back. Kinda like a free way, sometimes one side has traffic and the other side has a bunch of cars flying by.

Another misconception is that "love doesn't hurt". Love hurts for the better, the very idea of love forces us to break bad habits, do things we normally don't do, and above all, be vulnerable. There will always be moments when love hurts because nothing good comes without hard work and the willingness to take a potentially painful risk. Love is meant to be done over and over again; some of us get it right the first or second time around but others have to learn the painful lessons it takes to become intimate with love and learn how to apply it in the necessary areas. We all need to learn to apply love in the most basic areas of our lives to build intimacy with it.
Love in communication: know how to communicate how u feel to someone regardless of fear or doubt. Do this knowing that it means progress and understand when you are being communicated to.
Love in relations: show love in this area not just sexually but find what makes each other feel appreciated that way you nor them feel burdened when giving.
Love in confrontation: show love when you're disagreeing. Never use hurtful information against each other otherwise that person will feel they can't be intimate with you because you will use it against them in an argument. Find a way to argue productively find a solution or just listen to what's being said and it will work out

The biggest and most powerful lie is that love doesn't exist.  Find a way to destroy the barriers keeping you from loving and love selflessly and abundantly, you'll never be unsatisfied. 

Update: New series

I know its been a minute since ive actually posted something on here but i been going through some personal adjustments which left me a tad bit distracted from writing. Im going to attempt to get back into it with a series of blogs that ive been giving some thought into. the series is going to be titled "Love Therapy", focusing on getting us back to the basics of what love is and trying to rebuild ourselves in it. its going to be an interesting project so follow along and dont be timid in giving your feed back. peace!

When words collide

When words collide the grenade goes off and fragments fly
Diminished meanings, misunderstood feelings leave dreadful endings.
words mean nothing when clashing, just plain old jibberish and time wasting.
Sounds blurred by the wrong verbal prescription produce communication annihilation engaged by stubborn fixations of being right
Mental battles ensue in pursuit of the end of the lingual fight
Tongues lash at each other like dogs in a fight, resentment wounds that can't heal overnight leave brittle word warriors to ponder what might
What words to launch next in and out of spite.
What tongue tactics to lay back with as the oppositions counter attacks miss
Miscued notions envelope mislead feelings. the once ever repetitive and evernew "we" crushed into a complulsive so impulsive "me" and "I"
The blind word shot from the pistol of pride deflected by a sheild of ego let's the solution hide behind the eyes
The fault is an unsolved mytery of mind but it's launched from self to shelf so guilt is never dealt
In the end after the debri has cleared when the smoke and dust have settled notice the casulties were few
The count came back as a total of two
Me and you


 
    

Happy mothers day

Mother oh the mayhem we've caused you, the ups and downs, the smiles and frowns we've given you
All taken in and accepted by love, so We thank you.
Mother oh how we struggled to understand the pressure we put you under, the ways we thought we were ready for life and disobeyed you, the way you sheilded us when it was only fair for our consequences to be dealt unto us, for that We thank you.
Oh mother how We thank you for your priceless, timeless love, the optimism and wisdom that made you invest in the greatest faith in us, there is nothing more we would love to do than to say thank you. 
Even in the times when our capacity to understand why you put your foot down was non existant, We knew you loved us.
Just like the times when the lash of your tongue crumbled out pride and reminded us we were not yet an adult, it was no doubt our my mind you loved us.
For the sake of your child; whether born unto you or taken in, you made the sacrifice of the ultimate charity and gave us your infinite love. 
We honor you from the deepest caverns of my soul and thank you with every drop of passion our existence on this earth has given us. You are my mother and We love you and you are appreciated with an insurmountable joy, excitement, and longevity. 

Sincerely,
Your child

Another awful truth

The prevalent declination of faith of obtaining a solid relaionship in our peers has made the "free flowing" relationship ever so prominent amongst our generation. Thoughts of building solid relationships with another is slowly fading out of the hearts and minds of the many that surround us, why? Is it because our male and female counterparts lack the tools and fundamentals that are essential in building or strenghtening the foundations they place their relationships on? Maybe it's the lack of integrity our men possess that prevent our relationships from maturing, or maybe it's our women and their fear and ambivalent feelings toward men that eliminates even the possibility of them obtaining and sustaining a healthy relationship, either way it goes our generation has a severe problem that needs to be adressed.

Very recently my roommate and a group of her friends had a night together where an abundance of truths were expelled from each others mouths. Although I wasn't present for this event, I witnessed some of it's aftermath. As a result of a few bad men, the hearts of a few good women were possibly hardened with slight chances of recovery. Who suffers the consequences? Yes, the few good men we have left. 

As men, our society enables us to treat our women in ways that damage them not physically but emotionally, causing our womens perception of men to be diminished and tainted ( lying, cheating, manipulating, and abusing). As men, we are allowed to be sexual deviants, women are pressured by men to be pure and innocent simultaneously persuaded to relinquish their purity and innocence to them just to advance their sexual fonteirs. After the mans conquest is completed he is allowed to seek another vessel to conquer with no regard for the condition of the vessel prior. This man is a weak man and will rely on this social instinct to prey on those weaker than he.  

Women are born on the defensive, raised to sheild themselves from the heartaches, deceptions, and disappointments. Some are even raised to beleive that "all men are dogs" and can never be trusted. Like men, so few are raised with the correct knowledge and understanding of the roads of love and relationships. A woman is too often misguided in regards to relationships, often naive to the manipulations of the deviants that pursue conquest and are too often emotionally annihilated.

As a result of sub standard behavior from "bad men", the destruction of hope for a healthy relationship for women was born, which beget the ultimate struggle for the "good man". It's always been an argument as to who has it worse, males or females? honestly, I beleive that women have a harder time, however the "good man" has it the hardest. Not only does he have to seperate himself from the whole and prove himself worthy of a womans heart, he has to battle the womans "knights of the roundtable".      
All of the insecurities, distrust, fear, pain, and lack of faith in men are all issues a man face trying to obtain a womans heart. Among that he has to deal with his own socialization, he has to deny all the things that perpetuate the "bad man" and risk ridicule from peers, being hurt, rejected, and at the same time stand alone as a "good man".

We as a young generation have to grasp the concept of building relationships not just assuming a relationship just works. Building a relationship requires patience to learn who the person is, understanding to know that person does not think like you and functions as an individual, forgiveness to be able to accept that that person has faults and will not please you 100% of the time, and boundaries to prevent yourself from giving too much of yourself that there is no balance of reciprocation within the relationship.       

Communication: a relationships best friend

Communication: the "art" of conveying messages or sending information from one source to another. 

Why this is important? Because it's a vital tool to keep others informed of necessary information. It allows people to make knowledgable decisions in circumstances that require specific information and in romantic relationships it is a necessary skill to prevent/dissolve issues that are sure to arise in relationships.

Communication is a fundamental tool that is often left behind in most relationships wether it be friendly or romantic. People are too often defeated by the fear of saying what's necessary in order to protect themselves from being the "bad guy" rather than just speaking out on what's right or conveying how they feel about a particular situation. People too often excercise the "ignorance is bliss philosophy" so they can have an excuse to say "well I didn't know" to avoid accountability for the circumstance.  People have an easier time saying unnecessary things but can't even formulate a sentence when communication is vital.

Any romantic relationship you MUST communicate the necessary things in order to have functionality and longevity.
1. Honest communication of intentions, what is the aim or goal for your relationship. 
2. Active communication of issues, most of the time problems start off small, they grow bigger if not adressed. Note: some things warrant compromise
3. Communicate appreciation and reassurance, some things need to be said even if you feel you show it. It will build trust and make communicating easier when it's something difficult to say
4.honesty honesty honesty, lies are never a good idea, mistakes are very forgivable if corrected, lies are blatant disrespect, display lack of character, destroys trust and integrity. A big No No!

Be very aware that men and women communicate in totally different ways almost as if they speak different languages. It takes a particular type of intimacy to decipher what each is saying in certain situations. For example... Men, when women are communicating their problems to you, it's not necessarily her asking you for your expert problem solving techniques, she's asking for your ear and understanding for comfort and compassion. Ladies a mans lack of communication isn't always a sign of detachment from you, a man is often quiet and distanst when he is having problems that he is contemplating dillegently to solve. There is no need to chase him an make him vent to you, he'll be back. 

That's one of men and womens major miscommunications, therefore proving why it's necessary for men and women to be active in learning communication. Patience and understanding is key to developing communication skiils aswell as familiarity with yourself in order to effectively process what's being conveyed to you and what you need to convey to others.. Think about it   


 

Crucifiction

The realest truth I'll ever know
That your love became my greatest foe
It beat me bare down to my bone
Snatched the light right out my soul
I yearned and howled to be loosed
I feared my resort lied in a noose
The pain and aches your love gave
Sent me spiraling towards my grave
Nightmares now opress my dreams
Midnight sweats awake midbreath screams
Lonely tears full of pain and fears
Shut down my love slowed all it's gears
The evolution of my misery
Was not a quiet profound mystery 
It came ever so slow ever so prominent
I was naive it was my bed I chose to lie in it
The day you let yourself give up on me
Became the night that love crucified me
High upon the cross for love
No ground below no sky above
There was no knowledge of what this meant
Just the pain left over from loves abandonment
I died that moment high in suspension
A victim of the pain from loves crucifiction
 

 
 

Attached

The chain attached to your heart attached to the stake posted in the ground of your past, free yourself if you want this to last
There is a promised attached to this love I have to give, attach yours to it a healing powerful enough to set you free at last
There is a beauty attached to you so profound that words couldn't even express you, it's being shadowed by the fear that deafens an blinds you, attach yourself to love and let your light shine through you
A winter is cold but there is a shelter to warm you
A summer is hot but there is a shade to cool you
Your legs become weak but these arms are here to carry you
Release your love from the bondage that confines you
Show the path to you heart so the right love can find you
Let this love be the rhythm that rhymes you
Attached to a love that was wrong
Left you suffering long
Attach yourself to a love that is longsuffering, wise and strong 
And you'll find it was the right way all along 

Love trigonometry

 How can a love so gorgeous turn and be so violent, how can I lose somethin I thought to be timeless, I gave it all I had but my heart was a minus, the plus was the bullshit and it left us both divided
Now the conditions of our hearts just adds up to silence
My heart was your target and every shot you took equaled to a dodge or a miss... From me
Little did I see that the greater than was you and the less than was me
The solution to this problem was by a factor of three.. An open mind from you, an open heart from me and effective communication could have set us both free
For us to be we stick to the following
You plus me equals m(x) plus C
M being "more" times x , "x" bein what it takes to love and C being more communication from you to me 
It doesn't take much to figure out this love trigonometry 

Solitary heart

You my solitary heart, soiled by the lies of the world, beaten by the betrayal of love done wrong, I swear you and I will never part. Our longsuffering journey to your mate, over the mountains of insecurities, through the valleys of diceit, we'll conquer any challenge to meet our fate. Your duty to keep singing your song, my job to shelter you and carry you along. Closer and closer to a love, to a heart who's song matches your own, my lonely heart oh how you've grown, Your bruises gone, your scars healed and to think you thought love is what you feared. Coming over this horizon you're racing time, I hear you whisper soon she'll be mine, even if they stopped the world my love will suffer no demise. solitary heart with a solitary love I'll carry you through night I'll carry you through shine, I'll carry you through death I'll carry you through time.  

Rest in peace baby sis and cuz I miss you

Baby bull, baby bee where are you going? You are not ready to be on your own yet, you and the ground have just barely met. Your hooves are soft and your wings are weak, these roads are tuff and these winds are strong, just wait, just wait, it won't be long. It won't be long until u get your chance, your chance to roam your chance to fly, your chance to live your chance to love, your chance to try all of the above. Wait!, why won't you wait? Where are u going, what's over there, wait baby bull u hardly have hair. baby bee wait for me, its cold out there can't u see? You are going too far please come back, hold on I cannot see, why won't you two speak to me? You have gone too far I cannot follow, I do not know what dangers you face, Why must you tred those creepy hollows? Ill wait all night for you to come home, you two are out there all alone, I know your hooves are worn and your wings must rest I can only pray for the best. I wake up, I had been sleeping, I find a bird who had been weeping. Little bird why does your eyes cry those cries? dear people I've been here since break waiting for u to wake, I have a news but for it u must wait. A news from who young swallow? Dear people why its from the hollow. Could it be my dear bull and bee? Well What was said to me, it was a group of friends you see, unknown to me is their identity. I am here u must trail beyond this land into the wood. I as a whole cannot go, take my eyes and they shall show. for I as a whole cannot sustain such a blow. Hours went by not a sound nor a breeze, where was the tiny swallow? Here I am dear people, here, there u go, now do u see? Your eyes will speak honestly. No! no!, my dear bee, my dear bull why did u not hear my plea? I do not want this vision my eyes now see, I do not want this truth that has come to be, take this pain away from me. It is yours to hold and yours alone, but thru this pain u must grow, hold fast to the redeemer, do not hear the deceiver. Open your eyes and keep your sight, if they are closed u cannot see the light. They were here by day gone by night, but keep in your heart baby bull and baby bee are alright.

The love you chose to be

People say when you fall in love it just happens
Like a sudden trip and fall happen
No You don't get infected with love it's not a disease.. please
Love is a choice in which You choose to be
Love is a gift to you from another
Love is not done for reward it's done unselfishly 
without rebate or guarantee
Without the m before e
But with the u before s
Only when you choose will
It become the beat in your chest 
The words on your tongue
It'll be a song forever sung
You'll be a lover and a fighter
Fighting for what you love
And loving what you fight for
What you protect and provide for
Your love will be to die for
You'll die to yourself and live for the other
In the storm you'll be the cover
In the light you'll amplify your lover
Significantly magnifying intimacy
That intense unusual knowlege of your man or lady
The one who maximizes their qualities and the one to minimize their deficiencies
You..A testimate of the love you chose to be

The power of honesty & the lack thereof

I beleive it is human nature to fear what we don't understand and what we cannot control. We live in our own perception of the world and have our own expectations of the people in it and sometimes those expectations can be and often are unrealistic. 

To alleviate the fear we are born with it takes honesty with self and to help free others of their fear it takes being honest to others. By excersising honesty our perceptions of the world and others will begin to change as we do.

Being honest can be one of the greatest difficulties for some people simply because honesty takes a great strength to do so. Honesty is where many of us fail the most, especially when it comes to being honest with ourselves. We often deny what's obvious to everyone else, we reject what we don't agree with even when it's full of truth. We convince ourselves that we are who we are and there is nothing we can do about it. We tell ourselves that those who we attach ourselves to have our hearts completely and there is no one else for us, even when these people are a source of great turmoil in our lives. If we would gain the strength to be honest in ourselves we would be more equipped to let go of old baggage and obtain new gifts from our futures.

The failure of outward honesty has contributed to immense damaging of our social interactions between each other. Everyone has the feeling no one can be trusted because lack of honesty in their past has taught them to beleive that. I beleive that not being honest takes more effort than it does to simply give the honesty that the circumstance warrants for. People like to tell the truth that they want to tell but not the truth that's necessary in order to alleviate them from feeling bad for lying but at the same time get away with lying. The only thing about that is there will come a time when that alternate truth will be discovered for what it is and either you tell the truth desired or the truth that's easy.

Relationships between people will continue to have problems unless we can master being honest completely, this is the power of honesty and the lack thereof.

Sex: mind and body

I'm sure most of us know and agree sex is one thing that comes with some of the greatest pleasures and also some of the greatest risks. Our generation has definitely made sex a common extra curricular activity, not saying that's a bad thing but it is bad when engaged carelessly. We all beleive we know how to have sex and are in complete understanding of what it is we are doing... Are we really that familiarized?

One of my beleifs has always been there are two components of sex; sex of the body and sex of the mind. Men and women operate totally different when It comes to sex, a persons sex is dominated by one component or the other and like anything else that requires maturity they also require active excersise to help balance, regulate and recognize what part a person is sexing.  

Sex of the body is simple and easy, so much that it is done casually and to some degree, unconsciously.. We just do it. I think there are only few minor differences in men and woman who engage in sex of the body...  
One being "purpose", what does a person hope to acheive by having sex? I think it's fair to say that we all hope to acheive orgasm from havin sex, even though that purpose isn't always acheived for some of us. For women I think that typically the purpose for sex is to express feelings of affection for a person who they feel has earned it to a degree. Men on the other hand can use sex of the body as an ego boost, not always for expressing a certain type of feeling. 

The other component of sex is sex of the mind. This I beleive is vital in all relationships, simply because if a person knows how to correctly sex another persons mind everything else will have to work in accordance with what state the mind is in. This is what I beleive to be part of the "getting to know" stage of any relationship, it takes patience and familiarity to correctly and effectively sex a persons mind. What you believe directly effects how you behave and is attributed to how external stimulation influences your thoughts. When a person can read and understand how u think they know when and how to effectively stimulate a response from you on their behalf.. Example: if you and your partner are driving around and you see something you like but you don't wanna directly ask for it so you say something like "oh that looks interesting, cute, fun" etc. your partner knows and understands you well enough to know that you like to indirectly ask for things you find appealing, they will probably surprise you with whatever that thing was. Sexing the mind goes beyond the physical and takes a considerable amount of effort to become effective at it. This should be primary when when going into any relationship that has the potential to grow into something serious, everything else is secondary.