Love Therapy: Maintaining Consistency

Consistency, one of the top reasons why relationships fail. The reason why our women say "he doesn't do the things he used to" and the reason why our men say "she's not the same person I remember". Consistency is vital in our relationships and will make or break them. Consistency by definition means "an agreement or harmony of parts or features to one another or a whole", that being said, what are we agreeing on and where is our harmony that is necessary? 

We as human beings are instinctively seeking the most comfortable and pleasurable circumstances, this is the only thing that is naturally consistent within our personalities. With a combination of life experience and external influence we develop an internal persona which influences our perspectives, decisions, and attractions. We let this persona develop what our idea of love is and that becomes an item of our basic instinct; to be comfortable and pleased, we have to fight our instinct. 

People are continuously changing within relationships, however, love does not change. In order to have a sense of consistency we must embody a synonymous definition of love (ex. 1 Corinthians 13). As we hold on to our definition our personalities, as they mature and change, will never not seem consistent. The things we did at the beginning of our relationship will never go away, they will never seem old, and anything more will be residual.

Two persons agreement to love produces a harmony between 
The two hearts, it allows them two apply every variable of their love to each other consistently. This doesn't mean that there won't be issues within the relationship but it does mean that issues will be solved with love and resentment should not exist. Maintain your consistency by upholding your agreement to love and fight against your instinct when your instinct becomes selfish.

Love therapy: Destroy & Rebuild Foundations

In relationships we all must be aware that not everything old is compatible with the new. There are things that worked for us in our past relationships that may not work for us in our future ones. A relationship is much like a house that gets built from the ground up. If u want that house to last it must have a strong foundation. Lots of people build their homes using the blueprints of other peoples foundations, move in and everything slowly falls apart. The house is eventually destroyed and that foundation you laid remains until you decide to build a new one. 

The entire process of destroying and rebuilding foundations starts with constructing your personal foundation. Prepare yourself with patience and understanding, identify what it is that you are searching for and be able to articulate it to whomever it is you decide to be involved with. You must also have the ability to recognize when a person isn't on the same page as you and make the proper adjustments as necessary i.e limiting interaction, calls, and be able to convey why you made your adjustment. After making any form of an adjustment you must remain firm in your decision (much like a foundation). 

Make sure you build your foundation with constructive qualities and beliefs. A constructive foundation allows you to embody what what you need and after, you'll be able to impose your needs onto potential partners without forcing them to compromise their own values allowing them to keep their sense of self. This also allows them to give to you confidently and comfortably of themselves, nobody enjoys feeling like they are being taken from so be sure to make it easy for people to want to give to you. 

It isn't difficult for a person to recognize another person who has a well constructed foundation. You have an outward expression of an embodied stronghold. Your confidence, mannerisms, and ability to communicate will manifest themselves more proficiently because of your strengthened foundation. Only those who have built strong foundations have the ability to withstand the weathering of a real relationship so, build on you before attempting to build with somebody. 

Again

You the love of my life
If you ever lost your memories of me and I had to earn your love all over again I would
I'd take the risk to lose you just to get those priceless moment back again I would
I'd go thru the awkward moment of meeting you, the one of kissing you and goin thru the extra mile just to get next to you
If I had to do it I'd run to the moment of the first time I'd seen your gorgeous smile
I'm thinking that if I knew then what I now we could've been here right now a whole lot sooner
Or how I could go back to when you used to think I had stop caring only for me to have found a new way to draw nearer to you 
Yea I'd probably do it again above all because I'd get to revisit that moment when love really set in and I realized I never stopped having those moments because they are still happening. 
So happily I'd love you all over again
I'd touch you right there again
Kiss you just like that again just to make you say I love you like you did the first time again.
Baby it doesn't even matter what state of mind you were in because once we were in love I'd gladly make you fall again.

My love

For it is thou you never knew me
Like a child and their toy 
You've seem to have outgrew me
But I
The one who remembers how you felt
Cannot forget how you felt or outgrow you
Love remember I still know you
I tried so hard to show you
The love in me won't outgrow you
It's needs to know you
Intimacy throughout you
A need to give you real love
To desire to ascend love
Renew love 
A new love 
The right love
The I won't quit at night love 
The day love 
The surprising spurts of may love 
The never ending hey love
What can I do to make love 
To a love that doesn't sway love 
That I refuse to hate love
There has to be a way love 
I can get inside love 
Your mind love 
I want to defeat time love
This is fire love
That shoots you up much higher love
A mighty love 
That I just can't fight it love
I might just love 
The fact that you chose me love 
I just can't lose my love
You expand my love
I hold you with both hands my love
Kiss you end to end my love 
Just where do I begin my love
This should never end my love 
Let's love this to the end my love 
I'll only fight my love 
To keep this love in flight my love
At night love
I'll send you to the sky my love
 if you want the stars my love 
I'll make a way to give you light my love
You're right my love 
You're my right hand love
My bestfriend love 
A beginning over and over my love 
Tonight my love is where I just might my love 
Take my love and place my love
In your heart my love 
Let you take my love 
As it makes You smile my love 
I'll weep my love 
Out these eyes that needs your love
To survive the miles of life my love
Will you be my wife my love
As eve was to Adam my love 
We will be the first my love 
To love above the rest my love 
So say my love 
Why did we ever part with love? 

Women are like wine

Fine and better with time 
Women are just like wine
Born of the earth bold and beautiful 
Complex entanglement much like the vine
Smooth intoxicating grip on the mind
Women are just like wine
Appropriate for the fine engagements 
Fit for the most intimate arrangements
A perfect high when consumed in moderation
A despicable low when abused for gratification 
Women are just like wine 
Your cool mood becomes more serene
Your passion filled moments be a dream
Get close enough to smell her
Tilt her to your lips so you can taste her
Never pour more than you can handle
Be careful not to waste her
A gift to man from god
To elevate your body and mind
Yes women are just like wine 

Love Therapy: Diminishing Misconceptions

Many of us enter into our relationships believing in certain concepts of love that could potentially damage the welfare of our relationships. These misconceptions place expectations on our partners that they may or may not have the capacity for and when they fail to meet those expectations we resent our partners and blame love. As we grow in our relationships misconceptions such as "love is a two-way street" or "love doesn't hurt" should be ruled null and void because they don't apply in a real relationship. 

Love in it's most simplistic definition is "charity". Charity is a gift from one party to another without any payment or gift in return. With love being "charity" love is never always a two-way street, it's often a one way street with a stop light.  I say a stop light because it's necessary to regulate just how much love you are giving out, giving too much of yourself can cause you to either forget about your own needs or be taken advantage of. When love is working the way it was planned to work then that's where the two way street is created, two people giving freely of themselves manifests the two way idea. It is not you give me some then I'll give some back. Kinda like a free way, sometimes one side has traffic and the other side has a bunch of cars flying by.

Another misconception is that "love doesn't hurt". Love hurts for the better, the very idea of love forces us to break bad habits, do things we normally don't do, and above all, be vulnerable. There will always be moments when love hurts because nothing good comes without hard work and the willingness to take a potentially painful risk. Love is meant to be done over and over again; some of us get it right the first or second time around but others have to learn the painful lessons it takes to become intimate with love and learn how to apply it in the necessary areas. We all need to learn to apply love in the most basic areas of our lives to build intimacy with it.
Love in communication: know how to communicate how u feel to someone regardless of fear or doubt. Do this knowing that it means progress and understand when you are being communicated to.
Love in relations: show love in this area not just sexually but find what makes each other feel appreciated that way you nor them feel burdened when giving.
Love in confrontation: show love when you're disagreeing. Never use hurtful information against each other otherwise that person will feel they can't be intimate with you because you will use it against them in an argument. Find a way to argue productively find a solution or just listen to what's being said and it will work out

The biggest and most powerful lie is that love doesn't exist.  Find a way to destroy the barriers keeping you from loving and love selflessly and abundantly, you'll never be unsatisfied. 

Update: New series

I know its been a minute since ive actually posted something on here but i been going through some personal adjustments which left me a tad bit distracted from writing. Im going to attempt to get back into it with a series of blogs that ive been giving some thought into. the series is going to be titled "Love Therapy", focusing on getting us back to the basics of what love is and trying to rebuild ourselves in it. its going to be an interesting project so follow along and dont be timid in giving your feed back. peace!