The love you chose to be

People say when you fall in love it just happens
Like a sudden trip and fall happen
No You don't get infected with love it's not a disease.. please
Love is a choice in which You choose to be
Love is a gift to you from another
Love is not done for reward it's done unselfishly 
without rebate or guarantee
Without the m before e
But with the u before s
Only when you choose will
It become the beat in your chest 
The words on your tongue
It'll be a song forever sung
You'll be a lover and a fighter
Fighting for what you love
And loving what you fight for
What you protect and provide for
Your love will be to die for
You'll die to yourself and live for the other
In the storm you'll be the cover
In the light you'll amplify your lover
Significantly magnifying intimacy
That intense unusual knowlege of your man or lady
The one who maximizes their qualities and the one to minimize their deficiencies
You..A testimate of the love you chose to be

The power of honesty & the lack thereof

I beleive it is human nature to fear what we don't understand and what we cannot control. We live in our own perception of the world and have our own expectations of the people in it and sometimes those expectations can be and often are unrealistic. 

To alleviate the fear we are born with it takes honesty with self and to help free others of their fear it takes being honest to others. By excersising honesty our perceptions of the world and others will begin to change as we do.

Being honest can be one of the greatest difficulties for some people simply because honesty takes a great strength to do so. Honesty is where many of us fail the most, especially when it comes to being honest with ourselves. We often deny what's obvious to everyone else, we reject what we don't agree with even when it's full of truth. We convince ourselves that we are who we are and there is nothing we can do about it. We tell ourselves that those who we attach ourselves to have our hearts completely and there is no one else for us, even when these people are a source of great turmoil in our lives. If we would gain the strength to be honest in ourselves we would be more equipped to let go of old baggage and obtain new gifts from our futures.

The failure of outward honesty has contributed to immense damaging of our social interactions between each other. Everyone has the feeling no one can be trusted because lack of honesty in their past has taught them to beleive that. I beleive that not being honest takes more effort than it does to simply give the honesty that the circumstance warrants for. People like to tell the truth that they want to tell but not the truth that's necessary in order to alleviate them from feeling bad for lying but at the same time get away with lying. The only thing about that is there will come a time when that alternate truth will be discovered for what it is and either you tell the truth desired or the truth that's easy.

Relationships between people will continue to have problems unless we can master being honest completely, this is the power of honesty and the lack thereof.

Sex: mind and body

I'm sure most of us know and agree sex is one thing that comes with some of the greatest pleasures and also some of the greatest risks. Our generation has definitely made sex a common extra curricular activity, not saying that's a bad thing but it is bad when engaged carelessly. We all beleive we know how to have sex and are in complete understanding of what it is we are doing... Are we really that familiarized?

One of my beleifs has always been there are two components of sex; sex of the body and sex of the mind. Men and women operate totally different when It comes to sex, a persons sex is dominated by one component or the other and like anything else that requires maturity they also require active excersise to help balance, regulate and recognize what part a person is sexing.  

Sex of the body is simple and easy, so much that it is done casually and to some degree, unconsciously.. We just do it. I think there are only few minor differences in men and woman who engage in sex of the body...  
One being "purpose", what does a person hope to acheive by having sex? I think it's fair to say that we all hope to acheive orgasm from havin sex, even though that purpose isn't always acheived for some of us. For women I think that typically the purpose for sex is to express feelings of affection for a person who they feel has earned it to a degree. Men on the other hand can use sex of the body as an ego boost, not always for expressing a certain type of feeling. 

The other component of sex is sex of the mind. This I beleive is vital in all relationships, simply because if a person knows how to correctly sex another persons mind everything else will have to work in accordance with what state the mind is in. This is what I beleive to be part of the "getting to know" stage of any relationship, it takes patience and familiarity to correctly and effectively sex a persons mind. What you believe directly effects how you behave and is attributed to how external stimulation influences your thoughts. When a person can read and understand how u think they know when and how to effectively stimulate a response from you on their behalf.. Example: if you and your partner are driving around and you see something you like but you don't wanna directly ask for it so you say something like "oh that looks interesting, cute, fun" etc. your partner knows and understands you well enough to know that you like to indirectly ask for things you find appealing, they will probably surprise you with whatever that thing was. Sexing the mind goes beyond the physical and takes a considerable amount of effort to become effective at it. This should be primary when when going into any relationship that has the potential to grow into something serious, everything else is secondary.   

Back to the basics

Lately I've been really in think mode, wondering about life and how I live it and why others make theirs so much more complex than it needs to be. We as a people tend to amplify the things life throws at us with simple misunderstandings and impulsiveness. I beleive that there is a level of haste that we let ourselves fall in and we forget to live, there is always time to take a breath and enjoy life.

Today everybody seems to be worried about what they don't have or how many people hatin on em. Whatever happened to appreciating the things that you have and working to better not only yourself but the friends and family beside you? Our men fear themselves and the potential they posses, they underacheive and have a lack of heart. Our women fear our men and fear being alone, they distrust each other and don't know what a healthy relationship looks like anymore. Neither men or women have a definition of love synonymous with each other and everybody is blaming someone else for why things aren't working out for them.

I beleive that we should live life a little slower with more patience, open our eyes and actually see what we are doing. It doesn't make sense to rush through life when everyone knows what's at the end of the road... Death! Let's take it back to the basics and live each day with a goal to enjoy it and not allow ourselves to be knocked out of balance. 

Take the next step

The generation that we live in has been starved of the necessary tools to develop into productive men and women. We grow older but fail to mature with the years that pass. We gain the age in number but when do we gain the knowledge to handle the responsibities that comes with it? 

The decisions we make in the circumstances we are put in directly define Us. When we elevate ourselves past ourselves we escalate others around us by setting an example. We know where we physically transition from youth to adulthood but there is no place to pin point where that transition occurs mentally. Which begs the question, what are the mental characteristics of a boy:girl & man:woman?

I beleive that boys:girls Unconciously operate to satisfy themselves seeking to avoid pain or unpleasure, while at the same time reaping any and every pleasurable benifit. This I beleive is the dominant mental framework of a boy:girl, this type of person will manipulate almost every situation to benift themselves and if they can't they resist with anger, envy, passiveness, extreme irrational acts and foolish criticism. A lot of times they will act as a victim or create an excuse to free them of responsibility of their actions. These individuals are reluctant to change and feel that others should change for them, for change to occur in them it must be forced.

My beleif in men:women is that they they operate from a consciousness that allows them to think with a certain degree of foresight. They are able to operate with realistic views of the world and people around them, their actions are more thought out and they factor in all the variables and outcomes before making decisions. Although mistakes will occur a man:woman will be accountable for any part he/she played in the outcome. A man:woman rarely ever takes advantage of a situation to benifit themselves with out regard for another unless the situation warrants for them to do so. They are always looking for ways to better themselves as well as others they are in contact with; change is and always will be an essential part of a mans:womans mental framework.        

only men and women have the capacity to adequately be mothers and fathers. This has and always will be the case simply because boys and girls can't raise boys and girls to be something they are not. It is never too late to mature, it is just will and desire to be a man or a woman that makes them such.

Being a man or a woman comes with the responsibility to set standards for the ones who lack guidance and understanding of what it really means to be defined as men and women. It takes an insurmountable amount of love for oneself and one another to take the next step... 

Until next time, please take in what applies and continue to grow..

The awful truth

 

In love relationships We as human beings have a compelling need for what we feel as control. Being placed in vulnerable positions or feeling vulnerable leaves us uncomfortable, so we do whatever it takes to have as much control over our circumstances as possible, especially when it comes to love relationships.

Once we do allow our control to be compromised for the sake of creating chances to grow with another person, we hold on to those attachments and gain a certain familiarity and most of the time we call this love.

If or when these "loves" fail one of two things occur; our pride frees us of all fault and we blame the other person for the failure of the relationship and we move on to another person (different person same characteristics w/ minor differences). The other is we suffer from post traumatic love disorder (PTLD) which causes us to use the "never again" method where trusting another is nearly impossible, the chances of allowing one to get you to that place of vulnerability is virtually non existent, all of this to protect ourselves from a hurt we wish to never experience again.

In men, I believe these kinds of experiences are not typical due to the way we are socialized to behave in relationships. We are too Often raised to believe that manhood is established through sexual conquest, the more women you have sex with the more manly you are perceived to be. Not typically taught how to initiate a relationship and actively perform the roles of a man in a relationship. If a relationship does fail for a man, the "bitches ain't shit" rule probably goes into affect as a method of control and protection. The next relationship a man goes into will probably be out of comfort and opportunity. 

In women experiences like these are more common as a result of mans socialization. Women are often socialized to be ready for a mans absence and to be prepared for a mans inadequacy to perform the necessary roles of a man. 
If a relationship goes south for a female she will most move on but have underlying symptoms of ptld that she won't even be conscious of. This will in turn cause her to inadvertently project her past hurts onto her next mate who will share the same characteristics as her past mate (different person same characteristics w/minor differences), which in turn could result in interpersonal insanity (repetitively pursuing the same type of mate, searching for new results).

I believe that relationships fail because we initiate them with only assumptions of what the rules of engagement will be and we lack expectations. We love for recompense and we bail at the first sign of stormy weather. Both males and females definitions of love & relationships should be synonymous before taking any steps toward either of the two. 

Please feel free to give feedback, let me know if you agree or disagree. Thanks for reading.     

Growth

Growing internally is by far the loneliest journey taken. Nobody is aware of your inner thoughts, emotions, or structure of thinking. The things that make you different from anyone else, the very make up of who you are is embedded in the things you value and beleive. The things that you value are what controls you, drives you, or what can even crush you. Those things that u believe in gives you the faith of things not yet manifested physically, they give you the hope that those bad times will fade and joy will fill your heart and life will be much brighter. This whole journey has to be walked alone, the making of internal you can only be harvested by you for you. The inner strength of you, the very fuel of your passions and dreams, the ability to get up after defeat, the will to give it another chance over and over again. Growing internally allows you to be a vibrant light exterally, making you a beacon of prosperous infinity unshakeable, an unstoppable force of certainty, a walking definition of individuality, a generous giver of charity, an inseperable bond of family, a simple beginning of change for a community. It makes u a whole being instead of just simply being.